Narcissism is a trait associated with people who are overly preoccupied with themselves, their own wants and needs, and their own self-worth. Narcissists tend to have an inflated sense of self, a lack of empathy for others, and a need for admiration.
A relationship involves people coming together to form a unified bond. But with a narcissist involved, this isn't typically the case. Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional abuse where a person with narcissism tries to control, exploit, or manipulate another person through things like devaluation, gaslighting, and love bombing.
These are major red flags in a relationship, but they're not always easy for a partner within the relationship to spot. Here's how to identify narcissistic abuse in a relationship.
You Constantly Feel like You're Walking on Eggshells
With narcissists, you never really know the type of person you're going to get when you interact with them. This is why narcissistic abuse can be difficult to step away from. Narcissists can be extremely challenging to deal with, but they can also be exceptionally charming.
The person that you fell in love with will appear intermittently, and those appearances will give you hope things will get better in the future. It's important to recognize moments when your partner is on edge and making you fearful. You should never feel unsafe in your relationship.
You're Questioning Your Own Sanity
Narcissists can cause you to question your own sanity. They may start to manipulate and gaslight you into believing certain things that never even occurred. Below are some common phrases that gaslighters and narcissists use to gain more control over their partners:
I never said that.
I was just joking.
You're overreacting.
Why are you so sensitive?
You're acting crazy.
That didn't happen.
These phrases can cause you to take responsibility and apologize for things that are out of your control. You may constantly find yourself second-guessing everything. Over time, you'll start to question whether you're just sensitive, whether you can trust your own memories, or whether you're really going crazy.
The Relationship Is Moving Quickly
A relationship with a narcissist tends to move extremely quickly. Narcissists can be charming, so the relationship may start off with them checking in often, buying gifts, or taking you on trips. These types of interactions can make you feel like your relationship is moving in the right direction and can even be exciting and fun.
However, these types of interactions can also cause you to make quick and impulsive decisions such as moving in together, getting engaged, or getting a joint bank account. This can all be part of a narcissist's plan to get closer to you to have more control over you and your life.
There Is a Lack of Boundaries
A lack of boundaries is common in relationships with narcissists. If you used to control your own finances or hang out with family and friends before the relationship, you may find these things change when you're with a narcissistic partner.
A narcissist will want to oversee everything you're doing. They will start to get in the way of the other relationships in your life and may even get in the way of your hobbies and career. If you find yourself overly relying on your partner for finances, goals, and being social, this could be an indicator that there's a much larger issue.
Breaking the Cycle
If some of these patterns are hitting a little too close to home, you may be the victim of narcissist abuse. This type of abuse happens slowly over time, so it can be difficult to spot and act on in the moment. Without proper support, these patterns will continue, and it can become even more difficult to break the cycle.
You should feel safe, secure, and happy in your relationships. Reach out today to learn more about about relationship therapy can help you break free and move forward.